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More Than a Game- Men’s Soccer Reflection by Phil Knower

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There I was, standing on the hill next to the MAC looking back at the field where I had spent so much time. As a senior on the soccer team, my four years as a Highlander was getting close to its end. We had just beaten Rosemont College in our final home game, earning a solid 2-0 win. But the team and I couldn’t reflect on the win or the season quite yet; we had to think about the one game we had left. Unlike the previous three years that I had played soccer for Cairn, we were having a successful season. One more win and we would be in CSAC playoffs for the first time in men’s soccer history at Cairn. As the final game of the season unfolded, we unfortunately lost, ending our season and playoff hopes. In the moments after the game the locker room was silent, and many of the guys just sat there without saying a word. Now the season had officially come to an end.  

I hadn’t really gotten around to reflecting on my years here as a Highlander until I sat to write this article. You should know that I am by no means a good writer, so please bear with me as I share with you some thoughts and experiences of playing soccer at Cairn. Coming into the soccer season freshman year, I didn’t know what to expect. Like any freshman in the athletic world, you go from being a top dog as a senior in high school, back to being the bottom of the food chain on the team as a freshman again. Right from the start of my collegiate career I could tell that this team was different from any other team that I had ever played on. The obvious difference was evident in that I was now playing at a Christian school with guys around me who aspired to live life the same that I did. But the most influential difference was that they were letting their faith shape their character, whether on the field or off the field.

Throughout my soccer career up to this point, I was always someone that was surrounded by players who didn’t hold the same worldview as me, and it was clear that it had an influence on me. When I did find myself around like-minded believers who also enjoyed soccer, everything was enriched to a new level. I was greatly impacted by the upperclassmen when first coming to Cairn. They invested in me both on and off the field and showed me that I could integrate my faith into soccer as well. I knew what it was like to share a common goal of trying to win games, but now my teammates also shared the common goal of trying to grow in our faith with that same passion and dedication. I look back with gratitude and appreciate the seniors that I started my time at Cairn with because they set a great example of how to strive for these two things together both as a team and as brothers in Christ.

Unfortunately my soccer career here at Cairn had been defined by injury. My sophomore year during preseason practice, I was running full speed when a stationary player stepped on my foot, subsequently ripping my knee out the socket and tearing the cartilage behind it. I was then sidelined for the entire season and forced to undergo knee surgery. It was never quite the same after the injury and surgery. I was not able to move as fast or do the same things athletically in the way I once could. But I did learn an important lesson in my life during this season: God can take away anything in your life, at anytime. During that next season, I learned to watch from the sidelines and support my friends and teammates even though I was not able to play on the field beside them.

Picture Credit: Phillip Knower
Picture Credit: Phillip Knower

That next season after coming back from the injury, I had a quick realization that I was not as fast and couldn’t move as well as I could before. The talent on the team seemed to have improved with the incoming freshmen recruits. Still I competed my hardest to the best of my ability when I got playing time on the team, but fell short not playing a lot of minutes. The same was true this past year. Let’s be honest: not getting a lot of minutes as a senior player is definitely a blow to one’s pride. Yet, I found my love for friendship, for brotherhood and for the game of soccer never diminished. It would be a lie to say that I never experienced any bitterness about what had happened sophomore year, but through it all I learned to grow up and realize that it not all about me but rather what I could do for the betterment of the team in practice. Through this, I strove to be a good example to the younger players just like I had looked up to when I was a freshmen.

So what have I learned while playing soccer here at Cairn? I have learned that the team is more important than any individual success. There is a benefit to enduring hardship. It’s not about being the super star. Friendship and brotherhood are worth more than any winning goal. I wouldn’t trade the friends that I have gained through being on the soccer team for practically anything. We have encouraged each other to be more like Christ, and it’s been a privilege to have been able to grow spiritually with the same men who I have shared a collegiate athletic experience with. These are the things that make soccer more than a game to me.

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