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The Myth of Having It All Together

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What does it mean to have life all together?

Does it mean that you have nothing going wrong in life at all?

The first question seems to imply that every person on Earth solely controls their life on their own and that external, unforeseen events do not happen to them.

To me, “having it all together” is an impossible goal: setting impossible goals gets me nowhere.

The only one who can have it all together is God because He knows everything and is above all things. Consequently, if He is the only one who can have it all together, that means only a perfect person can attain that goal.

I guess that is the assumed image of someone who appears to “have it all together.”

But what about difficult things in life that one cannot control?

Many people suffer from physical limitations and diagnosed conditions, so does that mean one does not have his or her life together even if it’s something he/she cannot control?

If having it all together means not having stress or anxiety, or even physical limitations and diagnosed conditions, then I (along with everyone else) will certainly never have it all together.

But, you know what? I wouldn’t ever want to have my life together.

Life would definitely be so much easier and less stressful, but easiness leads to laziness while stress brings stronger mental willpower.

This includes physical limitations. I’ve been an athlete ever since I could dribble, kick, or pass a ball. The reason I chose volleyball as my sport was because of my exercise-induced asthma, and this sport reportedly required less running since you literally just play in a big square the whole game.

What about that makes it relevant to “having it all together?”

Well, in the dictionary definition of that phrase, I never did have it together, but my life was better because I didn’t.

So, why do so many people think that life would be better if they did?

As many as you know, my team struggled immensely last season.  You could say we did not have it all together then. But that struggle did a lot of purifying in heart and character.  I couldn’t take pride in a winning season, and from that, I realized how I idolized my sport over God.

God allowed that part of my life to fall apart so that He could remold me into someone of better character.

How does this apply to me?

I’m sure everyone reading this does not “have it all together,” and that’s okay.  Does that mean you did something wrong? No, I don’t believe so.  Struggles in life push you to do better and to learn from your mistakes.  

I’ll be honest, without all the struggles in my life thus far, I would be a much different person (not in a good way).

So to conclude, this illusion of having nothing wrong in life is simply unrealistic.  I wouldn’t strive for that. Instead, look for ways to learn from the bad things in life.  Constantly chasing something that isn’t attainable is like envisioning water in a desert that isn’t really there.  You may think it’s possible, but you’ll never really get there. You’ll be forever chasing something that never existed on earth in the first place.

Know that it’s okay to struggle, that it’s okay to fail, and that it’s okay not to get it right the first time. That’s just how life is: imperfect and difficult. But what is gained from all that is beautiful and totally worth it in the end.

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