It’s a beautiful May evening in Philadelphia. You and your significant other enjoy a lovely meal, telling stories both new and old. The fabric of your conversation further weaves the tapestry of your relationship.

Then, you two go on a walk. It is slightly chiller than you anticipated. You ask aloud, “How far are we walking?”

“Not far,” he replies.

You arrive in Love Park and gaze about, finding solace in the surrounding trees. He lets go of your hand.

When you turn around, he holds a ring in his palm.

It’s absolutely perfect—he has taken time to know you well.

With joy bursting through your heart, you say “YES!”

Then, that night, as you stare up at your bedroom ceiling, you think, “We have to plan a wedding, and I still have a semester or two left. How’s this going to work?”

Good news, kids. I’ll help you get started.

1. Pray, read, and share

The Lord designed the nature of marriage as a reflection of his amazing love and faithful covenant with us! Set a good foundation by praying together often. Walk along the Cairn lake and talk; be vulnerable with each other and God. Read and discuss passages in the Bible about marriage (don’t cherrypick!) and books by trusted pastors and their wives. (I recommend The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy and Kathy Keller.) Remember: You are not alone. God’s got his arms around you both.

• Figure out where you are going to live after you get married.

Here’s the reality: the wedding can wait. You can have as long or short of an engagement as you and your fiancé have agreed upon. But it’s like we Ed majors say—maintain a “backwards design” mindset. The goal is to live together and love each other as Christ loves us. So let’s start there.

Back in Ancient Jewish tradition, the husband would build an addition to his father’s house for himself and his bride, proving his commitment to his wife by providing her a home with him. The modern-day equivalent could be the breadwinner finding an apartment and furnishing it (with consultation from your fiancé). Now, if you are both still in school, or long distance, that’s trickier, but not impossible. Seek advice from someone who went that route!

• Support System, Go!

Wedding planning is teamwork. I’ve heard the idea that “the bride plans everything, the groom just goes along,” but I feel like this creates a rift in the relationship—a mismanaging of expectations (especially if the bride is still in college!). Handling it as partners (and reminding yourselves of this mindset) gives you and your fiancé a glimpse into the realities of married life: critical thinking as a team, having hard conversations, compromise (in a good way), and finding humor throughout it all. Remember to pray together. Strengthen that three-stranded cord!

Then, spread your web of support to your friends and family and examine your resources: Is your mom an excellent designer? Are any of your friends photographers or DJs? Call ‘em up! Additionally, whether or not you decide to have bridesmaids or groomsmen, allowing your friends to help carry some of the burden is crucial. (Never underestimate the power of a movie night, starring Food You Don’t Have to Make.)

• Establish a budget

When conducted according to God’s design, a wedding is beautiful no matter if it takes place in Bryn Athyn Cathedral or in a friend’s backyard. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Talk with your fiancé, your family, and you fiance’s family about establishing a reasonable financial range. This will not mean that every single photo frame or candlestick is accounted for in the budget, but setting an expectation for big elements like the cost of the wedding venue, DJ, and photographer will set your shindig on the right path.

• Set up a calendar for all things wedding-related and stick to it

At times, wedding planning feels like you added a whole other course to your schedule. I never would have survived without my Google Calendar. Google Calendar has a lot of cool features to help you prepare for what’s ahead, from color-coding (all wedding-related items can be a certain color), to receiving notifications at custom times. I’ve never felt more accomplished than the month after my wedding, when I looked back at all the tasks recorded on the app and realized, “Did I do all of that? YES.”

And STICK WITH THAT PLAN. You may want to spend all afternoon on Canva working on your invitations, so ask yourself if you can afford to do that given your other responsibilities. Don’t trick yourself into thinking that just because you are doing something “for the wedding” means that it’s productive or helpful. (Stop yourself if you’ve been trying different fonts for 15 minutes straight– not that I speak from experience or anything).

• Stay Heart-ful

It may be tempting to “put your heart on hold” so you can accomplish everything that needs to get done, but trust me: it’s not worth it. Your efforts are not in vain. Go on fun dates with your fiancé that have nothing to do with wedding planning! Listen for the Holy Spirit’s voice underneath all the stars you can see. Be present even if it hurts, and don’t be afraid of your own abilities and decisions; make them and make peace with them. Revel in cake-tasting and dinner-tasting day! Find joy in everything you can as you and your fiancé prepare for celebrating your awesome union. Keep your heart full, my friends.

Have any advice from the other side? Let us know in the comments!