We are all too familiar with the phrase “ring by spring” referring to singles who begin dating and get engaged before the end of the school year. Urban Dictionary defines “ring by spring” as, “Christian college kids in their senior year that feel a need to get engaged before the final semester, thus ring by spring.”

“…if I don’t get my ring by spring the $100,000 I spent to go to this school will be a total waste!”

Some days I think college exists for the sole purpose of people searching for their spouse. Within the first few minutes of freshman orientation, students start scoping one another out and wondering,“Could this be my future spouse?”

Cairn students stay true to this tradition. Nearly every time I log onto Facebook, I see a new Cairn couple trying out the dating game. Sometimes they seem a good fit and other times, I cringe. Dating isn’t wrong, however, many couples rush into a relationship just to get the ring before truly thinking through the character and fit of the other person.

The urge to find your life-long companion before you graduate can cause us to lower our standards. With classes and extracurriculars demanding every moment of our time and every facet of our brain, we need to make sure that we date someone that we really want to spend the rest of our lives with before demanding a ring.

Don’t settle on the first person who shows interest in you; make sure he or she meets the qualifications of what you are looking for in a “till death do us part” relationship.

Up until this year, I didn’t have a physical list of qualifications someone needs to meet in order to be my boyfriend. After some dating faux pauxs, I realized this was risky. Dating connects to the heart and I don’t want my heart connected to someone whom I cannot plan my future with readily. We tend to just think, “Good enough” when we meet someone. But they shouldn’t be just “Good enough;” they should meet our expectations. While we can’t expect a perfectly me-suited, flawless, always loveable man, we do need to have certain non-negotiables set in place before giving our hearts away.

To be totally vulnerable here, here is my physical list that I have of what I am looking for in a man:

If you read that whole list without stopping after the stereotypical first two qualities, props to you. While they sound like Christian-ese, having a man (or woman, for guys reading) who draws you closer to God is super important. If they don’t have this affect on you, it becomes way too easy to make him or her your idol in the place of God (which is difficult to reverse).

As far as the rest of the items on my list, some of them come from experience (whether positive or negative), while the rest come from my knowledge of my Love Language, which is physical touch.

Your list of non-negotiables may look totally different than mine. I hope they do. Make a list. Don’t settle for less than you are looking for. Who cares if you don’t meet your soulmate by senior year? Maybe your future spouse won’t come into your life until you are settled down with your career. If you can avoid problems later on in life by maintaining high standards now, save yourself the heartbreak.

Don’t let fear of being “single forever” allow you to compromise. You won’t be lonely forever. You’ll be happily married someday. But your marriage will be so much happier if you choose a spouse prayerfully and wisely. And if you get a ring by spring, then all the more power to you.