I love taking walks during the fall. There’s a crispness in the air, and a feeling of fresh starts. The sun still shines down, but the breeze keeps me cool without chilling me to my bones. Leaves that have already fallen crunch under my feet with a satisfying snap. The leaves that stubbornly remain burst with color all around me; vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows eclipse the green of summer. I am transfixed by the flaming trees, but as I gaze at each colorful leaf, I realize that their fiery beauty is a result of their death. The leaves that make autumn so breath-taking are dying, and they would not be so lovely without that death.

            Like the autumn leaves, I would not be beautiful without brokenness. Throughout my life, I have been told that trials are a test of strength and necessary for growth; they’re a way to burn off any imperfections. The popular saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” reinforces this idea that pain is to be endured and survived, but what no one tells you is that suffering can directly cause beauty. Trials are not just sanctifying tests of endurance; instead, pain makes life more lovely. Not in spite of my brokenness, but because of it, I am a more beautiful reflection of God. It’s not my sinful nature that makes my story beautiful; instead, God has redeemed and restored my life, and that renewal is what makes me beautiful. My testimony is full of trauma and grief, but my suffering is exactly what makes my life more meaningful and full of God. I needed to be broken in order to run to God, and I can not only survive suffering but thrive in it. I have endured and grown from trials, and I have also found healing and joy in trials. My story is just a small piece of God’s incredibly lovely narrative, and He has and still will use my testimony to paint a stunning picture of His magnificent love.

God created the world knowing that humans would sin. He knew of all the heartbreak that we would cause ourselves and Him, yet He still chose to create us. This begs the question of why a perfect God would ever knowingly let so much suffering enter His world. If God had stopped at creation, the world would have still been perfect, but fall, redemption, and restoration gave the world so much more depth and loveliness. God’s story is so much greater because of sin and suffering. His unconditional, redemptive love contrasts the horrors of this sinful world, and any pain pales in comparison to the richness and wonder of God. Without the grief of sin, there would not be so much joy, love, and celebration. We would not know the true wonder of God if we did not also know the sting of death. God’s plan is an absolute masterpiece that requires suffering in order to be so breath-takingly beautiful.

Now when I walk past the blazing autumn trees, I think of much more than just pretty colors. I think of my own story and how much more lovely my life is because of suffering, and I think of God’s narrative and how absolutely awesome He is. I can look forward to the future, when God will restore everything, and we will not need brokenness to help us experience the loveliness of God. Someday, we will be able to enjoy God without the sting of sin to remind us of His love, and life will be filled with more greatness and beauty than anything on this earth. For now, as the leaves drift to the ground and winter beckons with the chilly breeze, I remember that God has a plan that is so much more wonderful than I can ever imagine. Even though death persists, God is on the throne, and He takes every horrific situation and turns it into something marvelous. He takes dying leaves and makes them a gorgeous display of colors, and He proves over and over again that He is greater than any trial. Brokenness can provide a way for beauty, and the falling leaves are a reminder of this lovely truth.