TWO YEARS AGO

“Betty, you know what this meteor could mean to science. It could mean actual advances in the field of science!” Dr. Paul Armstrong said.

“I’m sorry, what?” I said to the screen. We were only a few minutes into the movie and already I felt a “bad dialogue” headache coming on.

“Just wait,” replied my friend. Quite a few of us had gathered to watch this movie, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, which she apparently loved but none of us had ever heard of before.

We waited. And wow, was it worth it.

NOW

I don’t know about you, but I’m not really into watching horror movies. Case in point: a few months ago, I started watching Bendy and the Ink Machine videogame walkthroughs and got so creeped out that I had to turn on several lights when it got dark outside. So, no movies about shapeshifting sewer clowns or aliens bursting though torsos for me. When October rolls around, you can usually find me rewatching Megamind for the 27^th time.

But what happens when you want to skill enjoy those October movie vibes? If you’re like me, this movie review is for you.

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is a 2004 spoof of all 1950s black-and-white scary movies. It’s about a scientist, another scientist, a scientist’s wife, a couple aliens, and a woman made from 4 wildlife creatures (which creatures, you ask? I don’t think they’re ever specified). They all want one thing and one thing only, each for their own reasons: atmospherium, the rarest element in the periodic table.

Oh, there’s also the most sarcastic skeleton you’ll ever meet.

The music is overly dramatic and sounds like it belongs on an episode of The Twilight Zone. The dialogue, as I’ve already mentioned, is incredibly redundant. The effects look like the studio had about $20 in its pocket. And you can see the skeleton’s strings when he climbs up boulders.

“Wow, that doesn’t even sound remotely good,” you say.

The beauty of this movie is that the directors and writers know that. It’s meant to exist even as a parody to the “it’s so bad, it’s good” idea. This movie is brilliant in its comedic timing, awful transitions, awkward silences, plot holes, etc. I rewatched it again a few days ago and still teared up in laughter.

And it’s extremely quotable. You watch this movie with some friends and you’ll always have that bond. When you meet them again in 10 years for a coffeeshop life update, you can say, “Remember Ranger Brad?” Though it might take some recall effort, once they remember, I guarantee you that the laughter that ensues will ease the awkwardness you guys might have acquired after years of poor contact. You’re welcome.

This Spooky Month, when the rain threatens your mood, grab some friends, a comfy blanket, and plop in your favorite commuter lounge chair (assuming someone hasn’t taken that seat for something lame like studying for their midterms).

(Just kidding kids. Do your homework.)

Anyway, you, too, will wonder about the potential atmospherium might have for the advancement of science….and what hilarity awaits those who seek it!